Age-old Question: How Many Suffixes is Too Many Suffixes

5 Apr

Manolito Adebayor scored the first two goals in Real Madrid’s romp over Tottenham at the Bernabéu.  The crowd went nuts and, although just days prior they called him the worst player of the weekend in their loss to Sporting, Marca bowed low before the Togo international.  Never short on hyperbole, Marca rolled out their strongest suffix-editors, tacking on two  ‘azo’ suffixes in four words of their headline.  In fact, if its more liberal use would have made any sense at all, we have no doubt that the headline would read:

“ELAZO EQUIPAZO DEAZO MANOLAZO”

[“azo” is a suffix-superlative, something akin to “-est” or just the adjective “awesome” in English, so the headline might read “The Awesome Team of Awesome Manuel”]

One thing we’d like to point out here in this portada is that, while the team that spawned a thousand AZOs was celebrating Di María’s 3-0 goal, someone was feeling a little left out.  You see, it’s become clear over a couple of seasons of watching Mr. CR7 in the Bernabéu that he’s a bit of a loner.  Not only do his teammates seem to not celebrate his goals as happily, but he also seems to take little joy in watching others do what he is perfectly capable of doing – and with more flair.  This aloofness is most apparent when Real Madrid are playing quite well without Cristiano having tallied a goal; his frustration seems much greater when those around him succeed apart from or, as is often the case, in spite of him.  This photo isn’t necessarily proof that this phenomenon is a Real Truth™, but it does make us wonder just how frustrated he was in that moment that tomorrow’s cover would not read:

“CRISTIANAZO RONALDAZO MUSCULAZOS”

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