Delusions of Real Madrandeur

14 Jul

Mr. David Beckham has had a rough last three years – let’s be honest.  His arrival in the United States for a fairly experimental professional football experience ushered him into a phase of apparent skill-attrition.  From bangers-n-mash to mac-n-cheese, Beckham’s brand crossed the channel into Florentino’s nightmare circus before, after much hype as a “galáctico,” finally landing in the Galaxy of L.A.

It’s no secret that Beckham’s fling with the USA has irked a large number of his American followers, but we have to understand that the L.A.-Milan timeshare made sense.   There are just too many high-quality underwear commercials for him to pose for in Milan, and spending half the year there gets them all taken care of so he can go back to the MLS.

With all this pining for what was or could have been, it’s no wonder Beckham has recently stated that if Florentino Pérez had been in charge of Real Madrid in 2007 instead of deer-in-the-headlights Ramón Calderón, Beckham would have been able to finish his career at the Bernabéu.  Underwear modeling opportunities aside, it seems as if he genuinely believes he belongs in Madrid – next to the Cristianos, the Kakás, the Xabi Alonsos, the Benzemas and the Casillasesesses.  That is, next to the underwhelming divas of fat-cat football (excluding Casillas).

We here at No, Srslr wish nothing more than for David Beckham to once again find his head nestled in Schmiegel-Pérez’s reassuring embrace.  These two obviously belong together.  Of course there was not a MASSIVE paycheck waiting for him in L.A., and he only made the move to help his professional sporting career.  So it only makes sense that Florentino would have barred the door before letting his favorite underwear model skip away to the Cali coast.

Mr. Beckham, of all the delusional underwear  model sports stars, you are the most delusional underwear model sports star.


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